I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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