he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Green mimosas i think yes
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
The Olympian is in my bed
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
