Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"

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(626): View more from California

Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life

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(207): View more from Maine

i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance

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(303): View more from Colorado

I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.

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(469): View more from Texas

Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.

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(208): View more from Idaho

i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.

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(540): View more from Virginia

THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford

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