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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize