My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I can't turn off my feet"
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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