So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
