Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
