It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
