I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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