I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
