the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
