I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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