we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
