Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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