Are we in a gay sports bar?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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