Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
