dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
