i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You dont lie about slip and slides
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize