When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
