Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
