Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
