that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
