it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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