There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize