I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
