i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
just come out here and I will go home with you...
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
