Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
