Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
