so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
