i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I wish you could order shots online.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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