Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
