well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
