There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Randomize
