Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
