i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
