Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
