my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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