We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
