Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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