either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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