Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
