You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize