I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize