Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
