VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
