what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
