that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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