Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
