i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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