bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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