remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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