i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
