I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Randomize
