Yo dont text me then not text me
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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