oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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