It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
