if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
