Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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