dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
